Your Hands Can Make a Difference

nohandsThere are many versions of the story of a statue of Christ with no hands. I’ve heard one that takes place in France, another that takes place in Korea. In some versions, the statue’s loss of appendages were a casualty of war. Other versions say they were broken off by vandals. In every telling, however, there is a common thread, that the hands were not replaced but rather a plaque was engraved that said: “He has no hands but yours.”

The Brenda Novak on-line auction for Diabetes Research is an excellent example of many hands working together for the good of others. I was only one author who participated.  With everyone working together over $300,000.00 was raised this month in the 6th annual on-line auction for Diabetes Research. Brenda was able to achieve her goal of raising over a million dollars for Diabetes Research – something she couldn’t do on her own.

brooke_whiteThis weekend I attended a different charity  function: “Hope for the Children” – a Benefit Concert to raise awareness and funds to help the over 50 million orphans in the world. Many of these children have no home, want for food and clothes, and lack the gift of love. American Idol’s Brooke White volunteered her time and talent to provide the headline performance. Twelve young finalists performed as they competed for honor to be the Junior and Senior Ambassador representing Hope for the Children. All of their music was inspiring and well performed. Many organizations were in the hallway outside the Gilbert High School Auditorium representing various adoption agencies, foster programs and individuals offering services or items in support of orphans.

SharonSlaterSharon Slater of Families for Orphans told the starfish story.

The Starfish Story
by Loren Eisley

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed
a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.

Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?”

The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean.
The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”

“Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish?
You can’t make a
difference!”

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish,
and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the
man, he said…”
I made a difference for that one.”

Your hands can make a difference.

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Caring for Chronically Ill Children

DRI_BrendaNovaktour001_300This month we’ve been featuring Brenda Novak and her annual On-line Auction to benefit Diabetes Research. The reason she chooses this cause is because her son has Juvenile Diabetes. More that 50 million Americans are caring for a spouse, parent, or relative with a serious illness. Particularly difficult challenges I’ve noticed with the aging boomer population is when a couple is nearing or at retirement age and one or both of them are experiencing health problems, and / or they have elderly parents that require assistance.  Many times because of the economy or other circumstances their adult children have moved back home.

When your child has a developmental or cognitive disability this adds an additional strain. Now you are not only concerned about caring for them until they become an adult but also through their entire life. Yes, all parents love and worry about their children and grandchildren, but it is not usual to have to literally plan out and carry the financial, physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual burden throughout their entire lives. Parents special needs individuals realize they will probably not live long enough to shelter and provide for their beloved child. I’ve witnessed aging parents barely coping with their own illnesses, and lingering on because they can’t let go of the the responsibility of the child they’ve cared for for over forty to fifty years.

63762326Author and journalist Gail Sheehy identifies eight crucial stages of caregiving in her book Passages in Caregiving: Turning Chaos into Confidnece.   Diane Rehm interviewed Gail Sheehey on NPR.  She draws on her experience caring for her husband, the founder and editor of New York Magazine, Clay Felker. Even though her advice is focused on caring for the adults and elderly, it still applies to the caregiver that also has younger relatives and children that require their assistance.

Seeking out qualified help is essential to survival in this kind of financial, mental, emotional, physical and spiritual storm.

Below is a list of  links that may be helpful to the reader or someone they know. The important part to remember is to take care of yourself – the caregiver. When you fail to do that there is no one left to care for the others and you become the burden.

National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers Program of All Inclusive Care for the Elderly (PACE) socialworkers.org

National Association for Home Care & Hospice

Working Caregiver

American Association of Daily Money Managers

Disability Resources